In a blur, events that seemed endless…Wind flowing…
The open air…
being soaked into my lungs; cleaning the tainted pollution of sin in it.
Take it all slow…
As I glide near the water, the crashing waves hitting shore as reality hits my mere existence.
But when I gaze upon that hopeful, strong sun…
…rays hitting the surface of the water…
I realize that a sliver of light still lies beneath the dark abyss.
And yet I think: “There is so much light, but why is it so hard to find and grasp?”
But then I remember, as time goes by,
light fades, and all that is left is what little warmth we can capture in our hearts.
The sounds around me begin to grow weary and fuzzy as I go deeper into my mind.
Thinking about all the regrets and mistakes I’ve made.
And the people who seem to push those further into my body
like a knife.
“Why did it happen this way?”
Desperation becomes the darkening of my consciousness,
as I pray to a seemingly deaf God.
Is he hearing me?
Or am I worshipping air?
C A N T
T A K E
A N Y M O R E
I feel so…aLOnE…CoLd
My heart is fR0sTbiTteN…
THeY BuRiED mE ALive iN tHe COLD HARD dIrT oF MY PrOBleMs,
aNd THeN tHEY hAD thE AuDaCITy tO cOme bACK
AnD tAuNT ME M0rE
EvEN thE ONe I lOVeD
HAd BeTRaYeD mE
AND THEY STILL WON’T STOP
THEY STILL WON’T STOP WITH ALL THE WORDS.
STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES,
BUT THEIR WORDS ARE SHATTERING ME
…Whatever sanity and warmth that once beautiful sun had given me…
…was now, seemingly, dEaD.
…Why do I still try when it feels like the whole world has gone against me?
My chest grows colder with ice,
and it will not shatter with the damaged hammer of optimism I keep using.
…It…it doesn’t matter anymore.
…I’m so done.
…Done with all of this…
…I just wanted someone to love me…
Some kind of warmth to melt my chest.
…I just wish things could at least go slower…
…Instead of zipping on by like a bullet…
…So I reach the tip of the peak of life and I begin to fall…
*Photo Taken at the Jumping Jack Powerplant in Brooklyn, NY by IG: @Kaydrienne